Take My Hand
　　抓緊我的手
　　The guardian angels of life fly so high as to be beyond oursight, but they are always looking down upon us.
　　~Jean Paul Richter
　　The car crept slowly up the dark mountain road as February windsdusted the slick pavement with
　　new-fallen snow. From the front seat, my two college friendsnavigated the old car over the icy road. I sat behind them with abroken seat belt.
　　The back end of the car fishtailed. “No problem, Mary,” Bradreassured me, gripping the steering
　　wheel. “Sam’s house is just over the next ridge. We’ll make itthere safely.” I heaved a sigh. “I’m glad Sam’s having a party.It’ll be so good to see everyone again after Christmas break.” Ihoped my cheerful friends could bring me up from one of the lowestpoints of my life. Even Christmas at home in Hawaii had beendisappointing, leaving my heart empty and hollow. Nothing had beenthe same since Dad died two years ago.
　　Sensing my despair, Dad’s sisters had taken me aside afterChristmas dinner. “Pray to the heavens, honey,” they coaxed. “Yourdaddy is there. He can hear you and help you.”
　　Pray? Bah, humbug, I thought, as I left the family gathering.I’ve given up on God.
　　Moonlight glistened off the icy pavement. Our car approached thebridge traversing the canal waters feeding the nearby lake. As wecrossed the bridge, the car began swerving out of control. “Hangon!” Brad screamed. We spun 360 degrees before careening off theroad. The car rolled over, slammed onto its top, and my bodycrashed through the rear window and onto the frozen earth. As Igroaned, only half-conscious, I noticed no sounds from the frontseat. I started crawling, hoping to find the road, and help.Digging my elbows into the ground, I dragged my battered bodyacross the rough terrain. With the next pull, I slid over a knolland somersaulted down the other side and into the freezing canalwater.
　　The pain and cold left me limp. Then I heard a voice scream,“Swim!” I began to stroke with my arms.
　　“Swim!” the voice called. It sounded like Dad. “Swim harder, MaryAnn!”
　　He was the only one who called me Mary Ann. “Daddy!” I cried, asthe current pulled me under. I thrust myself through the surface ofthe water when I heard him scream again, “Swim harder!”
　　“Daddy, where are you? I can’t see you!” I yelled, as the frigidwaters pulled me under again.
　　Too frozen and weak to fight, I felt myself sinking deeper intothe darkness. My head swayed back, and I gazed up through thesurface of the water where a bright golden light glowed. Then Iheard Daddy holler again, “Swim, Mary Ann! Take my hand!”
　　With all my might, I hurled my body upward, through the water andinto the light. There, my daddy’s hand extended. I recognized histouch, his grip as he pulled me up.
　　Then the light, the hand—the moment—vanished. I was clutching achain extended across the canal.
　　“Daddy!” I cried. “Come back! Help me. Help me, Daddy!”
　　“Over here!” another voice yelled. “She’s over here!” A strangerleaned toward the water’s edge. “Hold on to the chain and pullyourself to shore!”
　　Hand over hand, I yanked my frozen torso within the stranger’sreach, and he lifted me to the bank. My body and my mind werenumb.
　　“Let’s get you to the hospital,” the man said, wrapping me in ablanket. He sniffed near my face. “Have you been drinking?”
　　“No,” I mumbled.
　　As I drifted into a merciful state of unconsciousness, I heardhim say, “You were calling for your daddy.”
　　I came to in the emergency room, where I was treated forhypothermia. My friends had sustained only cuts and bruises.
　　“You’re all lucky,” the highway patrolman said. “Especially you,young lady. Those chains are strung across canals to keep animalsand debris from flowing into the lake. I can’t believe you knew tograb it when you did, or had the strength to in that freezingwater.”
　　“I had help,” I muttered.
　　“You must have had help, Mary,” the patrolman said. “You weredeathly close to being sucked into the underground siphon thatpumps water into the lake. Another ten feet, and we’d never havefound your body.” He patted my shoulder. “Somebody up there islooking after you.”
　　Not just somebody, I thought. My Daddy.
　　That afternoon in the canal was the last time in my life I’vebeen afraid. Even years later, when our infant daughter hadopen-heart surgery, I had a faith-filled peace no one couldunderstand. I can feel that, with Dad’s help, the hand of God isover me. I need only to reach out and grasp it.
　　~Mary Ann Hagen
　　生命的守護天使飛得太高，我們看不到他們，但他們會一直看著我們。
　　——吉恩?保羅?里克特
　　當二月的寒風把新降的雪花吹散在光滑的路面上時，我們的車在黑暗的山路上緩慢行駛著。
　　我的兩個大學朋友坐在前排，開著那輛破車，駛過濕滑的路面，我坐在他們后面，系著破損的安全帶。
　　汽車的尾部不停地擺動著�！皼]事的，瑪麗，”布拉德一面安慰我，一面緊握著方向盤，“再翻過一座山就是山姆家了，我們會安全抵達的。”
　　我嘆了口氣�！拔液芨吲d去參加山姆的聚會，圣誕節(jié)假期結束了，大家又可以聚到一起了�！�
　　我希望，朋友們在一起的歡樂氣氛可以把我從人生的低谷中拉出來。即使是在夏威夷和家人一起過的圣誕節(jié)也讓我很失望，感覺內心空蕩蕩的。自從兩年前爸爸去世之后，一切都不同了。
　　姑姑們覺察到了我內心的絕望，吃完圣誕晚餐之后，她們把我叫到了一邊。“ 親愛的，向上
　　天祈禱吧，” 她們勸我說，“你爸爸在那里，他會聽到你的禱告來幫助你的�！�
　　祈禱？呸！都是些騙人的話！我這樣想著離開了家庭聚會。我已經(jīng)不相信上帝了。
　　月光灑在結冰的路面上，閃閃發(fā)光，我們的車快要駛上橫臥運河之上的大橋——那條運河注入附近的湖泊。當我們的車穿過大橋時，它突然開始打轉，根本無法控制�！耙欢ㄒ�抓住��！”布拉德大叫。我們幾乎旋轉了360度后，翻出了路面。車翻了，車頂觸地，我從車的后窗墜落到冰凍的地面上。當我處于半昏迷狀態(tài)發(fā)出呻吟的時候，我注意到前排的位置上沒有發(fā)出任何聲響。我開始爬，希望能夠找到一條路去求助。我用雙肘搗著地面，拖著傷痛的身軀，艱難地爬過那不平之地。我再一掙，翻過一個小土丘，滑到了另一邊，掉進了冰冷的河水里。
　　疼痛和寒冷幾乎讓我無法移動，接著，我聽到一個聲音在大喊：
　　“游��！”
　　我開始用臂劃水。
　　那個聲音又在喊：“繼續(xù)游！”聽起來很像爸爸的聲音�！笆箘庞伟。�瑪麗?安！”
　　爸爸是唯一叫我瑪麗?安的人�！鞍职�！”我哭喊著，這時水流又把我吞沒了。我掙扎著探出水面，這時，我又聽到了爸爸在大喊：“使勁游！”
　　“爸爸，你在哪兒？我看不到你！”我大喊著，冰冷的河水又一次將我吞沒。
　　極度的寒冷，再加上極度的虛弱，我已經(jīng)無力掙扎，感覺自己正在沉入無盡的黑暗之中。我轉過頭，好像看到水面上有一束金色的亮光在閃爍。然后我又聽到爸爸在大喊：“游啊，瑪麗?安，抓緊我的手！”
　　我用盡全力向上一沖，終于探出了水面，看到了亮光。爸爸的手伸了過來，我能感覺到他的撫摸，是他抓著我把我拉了上來。
　　接著，燈光和爸爸的手——一剎那間——都消失了。我緊緊抓著運河周邊的鎖鏈。
　　“爸爸，回來�。【染任�，救救我，爸爸！”我哭喊著。
　　“在這兒！”另一個聲音大喊道，“她在這兒！”一個陌生人斜倚在水邊說道，“抓緊鎖鏈，挪到岸邊來！”
　　我雙手交叉猛拉了一把，我那凍僵的身體離那個陌生人不遠了。他把我拉到岸上，我的身體和意識都已經(jīng)麻木了。
　　“我?guī)�你去醫(yī)院，”他邊說邊把我裹進毛毯。他湊到我面前，聞了聞，問道：“你喝酒了嗎？”
　　“沒有！”我含糊地說了一句。
　　在我漸漸失去意識時，我聽到那個陌生人說“你一直在叫你的爸爸”。
　　由于體溫過低，我被送進了急診室。我的朋友們只是受了點擦傷和淤傷。
　　“你們真是太幸運了，”公路上的巡警說，“尤其是你，小姑娘！運河邊上的那些鎖鏈是用來阻擋動物或是廢棄物掉進河里的，真不敢相信，你掉進河里后，在那么冰冷的水里，居然還有力氣抓住那些鎖鏈�！�
　　“我得到了幫助�！蔽倚÷曊f道。
　　“你肯定是得到了幫助，瑪麗，”巡警說，“當時情況十分危急，你離抽水到湖里的地下虹吸管已經(jīng)特別近了，很有可能被吸進去。再近十英尺的話，我們就永遠找不到你了。”他拍了拍我的肩膀說，“一定有人在天上看顧著你。”
　　我覺得，不是別人，就是我的爸爸。
　　那天下午掉進運河里，是我這一生當中所經(jīng)歷的最讓我害怕的一件事，但也是最后一次。即使多年以后，我的小女兒做“心臟直視”手術時，我信念堅定，內心平和，盡管這無法讓人理解。在爸爸的幫助下，我可以感覺到上帝之手。我需要做的就是努力去夠到，然后緊緊地抓住。
　　——瑪麗·安·哈根
　　……