本雙語版詩集是“當(dāng)代國際詩人典譯叢書”（一套五冊）其中的一本，詩集名“一抹黃色”由美國當(dāng)代著名華裔詩人陳美玲和譯者共同確定。其親自參與甄選的25首詩來自4本詩集，是她雙語雙文化生活經(jīng)歷和人生思索的寫照，反映了她近40年書寫人性中那抹黃色的*高成就，獨(dú)特、新穎，而又具普遍性，巧妙地傾情書寫了“小我”，而呈現(xiàn)的卻是社會、歷史和文化的“自我”。其長詩達(dá)數(shù)10頁，短詩如俳句僅17個(gè)字，東西方詩體隨處可見，藍(lán)調(diào)、爵士，運(yùn)用嫻熟；絕句、俳句，妙手天成。詩人之會心，于思辨處，縱橫歷史，融匯文化，或可如哲人對話，深邃而發(fā)人深省；于意象經(jīng)營處，畫面或可如山水唯美；于情感呈現(xiàn)處，或細(xì)膩如隱入針鋒，或濃烈如水墨。
How I Got That Name
an essay on assimilation
I am Marilyn Mei Ling Chin.
Oh, how I love the resoluteness
of that first person singular
followed by that stalwart indicative
of “be,” without the uncertain i-n-g
of “becoming.” Of course,
the name had been changed
somewhere between Angel Island and the sea,
when my father the paperson
in the late 1950s
obsessed with a bombshell blond
transliterated “Mei Ling” to “Marilyn.”
And nobody dared question
his initial impulse—for we all know
lust drove men to greatness,
not goodness, not decency.
And there I was, a wayward pink baby,
named after some tragic white woman
swollen with gin and Nembutal.
My mother couldn’t pronounce the “r.”
She dubbed me “Numba one female offshoot”
for brevity: henceforth, she will live and die
in sublime ignorance, flanked
by loving children and the “kitchen deity.”
While my father dithers,
a tomcat in Hong Kong trash—
a gambler, a petty thug,
who bought a chain of chopsuey joints
in Piss River, Oregon,
with bootlegged Gucci cash.
Nobody dared question his integrity given
his nice, devout daughters
and his bright, industrious sons
as if filial piety were the standard
by which all earthly men were measured.
Oh, how trustworthy our daughters,
how thrifty our sons!
How we’ve managed to fool the experts
in education, statistics and demography—
We’re not very creative but not adverse to rote-learning.
Indeed, they can use us.
But the “Model Minority” is a tease.
We know you are watching now,
so we refuse to give you any!
Oh, bamboo shoots, bamboo shoots!
The further west we go, we’ll hit east;
the deeper down we dig, we’ll find China.
History has turned its stomach
on a black polluted beach—
where life doesn’t hinge
on that red, red wheelbarrow,
but whether or not our new lover
in the final episode of “Santa Barbara”
will lean over a scented candle
and call us a “bitch.”
Oh God, where have we gone wrong?
We have no inner resources!
Then, one redolent spring morning
the Great Patriarch Chin
peered down from his kiosk in heaven
and saw that his descendants were ugly.
One had a squarish head and a nose without a bridge.
Another’s profile—long and knobbed as a gourd.
A third, the sad, brutish one
may never, never marry.
And I, his least favorite—
“not quite boiled, not quite cooked,”
a plump pomfret simmering in my juices—
too listless to fight for my people’s destiny.
“To kill without resistance is not slaughter”
says the proverb. So, I wait for imminent death.
The fact that this death is also metaphorical
is testament to my lethargy.
So here lies Marilyn Mei Ling Chin,
married once, twice to so-and-so, a Lee and a Wong,
granddaughter of Jack “the patriarch”
and the brooding Suilin Fong,
daughter of the virtuous Yuet Kuen Wong
and G. G. Chin the infamous,
sister of a dozen, cousin of a million,
survived by everybody and forgotten by all
She was neither black nor white,
neither cherished nor vanquished,
just another squatter in her own bamboo grove
minding her poetry—
when one day heaven was unmerciful,
and a chasm opened where she stood.
Like the jowls of a mighty white whale,
or the jaws of a metaphysical Godzilla ()①,
it swallowed her whole.
She did not flinch nor writhe,
nor fret about the afterlife,
but stayed! Solid as wood, happily
a little gnawed, tattered, mesmerized
by all that was lavished upon her
and all that was taken away!
我是如何得到那個(gè)名字
小議同化
我是瑪麗蓮?陳美玲。
哦，我是多么地?zé)釔?
那堅(jiān)定的第一人稱代詞
“我”，伴隨著那矢志不移的
“是”，而不是那不確定的
“成為”。當(dāng)然，
我的名字曾被改變過
在天使島① ()和大海之間的某個(gè)地方，
當(dāng)我的“紙契”② ()父親
在五十年代末
迷上了一個(gè)豐滿的金發(fā)女郎
將我的名字“美玲”音譯成“瑪麗蓮”。
沒有人敢質(zhì)疑
他當(dāng)初的沖動——因?yàn)槲覀兌贾?
是欲望誘惑男人走向成功，
不是美德，不是儒雅。
那時(shí)，我還是個(gè)任性、粉嘟嘟的嬰兒，
頂著一個(gè)悲慘的白人女人的名字
她的身體因酒和耐波他① ()而腫脹。
我的母親發(fā)不出“r”的音。
為了方便，她戲稱我為“頭號女影星”：
此后，她從生到死
都處在高尚的無知中，
一邊是愛她的孩子們，一邊是“灶神”。
而我的父親焦慮不已，
就像一只香港街頭的“野貓”——
一個(gè)賭徒，一個(gè)流氓，
開了家連鎖中餐館
在俄勒岡州的皮斯河旁，
用的是走私名牌賺來的錢。
沒有人會質(zhì)疑他的品性
因?yàn)樗呐畠簜兠利悺Ⅱ\
他的兒子們聰明、勤勞
好像子女的孝心
是評價(jià)世間男人的唯一標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
哦，我們的女兒是多么守信，
我們的兒子是多么節(jié)儉！
我們是如何成功地愚弄
那些教育、統(tǒng)計(jì)和人口學(xué)的專家——
我們沒有什么創(chuàng)造力，死記硬背才是我們的強(qiáng)項(xiàng)。
事實(shí)上，他們會利用我們。
“模范少數(shù)族裔”只是一個(gè)噱頭。
我們知道你們監(jiān)視著我們，
所以，我們拒絕泄露絲毫！
哦，竹筍，竹筍！
我們一直往西走，我們就會到達(dá)東方；
我們一直往下挖，我們就會找到中國。
歷史把肚皮晾曬在
一片污濁的黑色海灘——
那里的生命不再依附于
那紅紅的獨(dú)輪車①， ()
但是無論如何，我們的新情人
在“圣巴巴拉”的*后一集
將依靠在一支香薰蠟燭旁
叫我們“賤人”。
哦，上帝，我們哪兒做錯(cuò)了？
我們?nèi)缃裰皇Ｏ缕つ遥?
那天，一個(gè)芬芳的春天早晨
了不起的陳家大老爺
從他天國的亭子往下看
發(fā)現(xiàn)他的子孫相貌丑陋。
一個(gè)是國字臉，沒有鼻梁。
另外一個(gè)——像個(gè)葫蘆，又長又圓。
第三個(gè)，不僅粗魯，還一臉苦相
可能永遠(yuǎn)都不會成家。
我，他*不喜歡的一個(gè)——
“既沒有煮好，也沒有燒好�！�
一條圓鼓鼓的鯧魚煨在我的的湯汁里——
無精打采，沒法為自己的民族抗?fàn)帯?
諺語說，“沒有抵抗的殺害不算是屠殺。”
于是，我等待著那日漸逼近的死亡。
所謂的死亡充滿著隱喻意味
是對我冷漠的證明。
所以，這里躺著瑪麗蓮?陳美玲，
結(jié)過一兩次婚，一個(gè)姓李，一個(gè)姓王，
是“大老爺”杰克
和郁郁寡歡的方穗琳的孫女，
是蘭心蕙質(zhì)的黃月坤
和臭名遠(yuǎn)揚(yáng)的陳G. G的女兒，
有一打的姐妹，百萬個(gè)表親，
比誰都活得長，被誰都遺忘。
她既不黑也不白，
不被誰疼愛，也沒被誰打敗，
徑自蹲在自己的竹林里
構(gòu)思自己的詩歌——
當(dāng)某天上蒼不再仁慈，
她腳下的大地裂開個(gè)口子。
如同一頭巨大白鯨的下巴，
或是超自然的哥斯拉的大嘴巴，
將她活活吞下。
她既不畏縮，也不苦惱，
更不會為來世而煩憂，
只是堅(jiān)守著！如同木樁，滿心歡喜，
被歲月啃噬，衣著襤褸，身心疲憊
皆因生活所賜
皆因生活所奪！
……
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